Regrets…

Thank you veteransA close friend of mine mentioned a few weeks ago that one of her cousins compiled a book based off all the stories of her relatives. In it, each of their memories, their words, and their lives were immortalized, forever remembered by their descendants.

 

This morning, I remembered that again. My grandfather passed away, and I realized that there were so many stories he could have told that I could have written down. There was so much history behind those blue eyes, so many tales behind his rough exterior. And I, jaded and afraid, never stepped forward to ask.

 

It is hard writing this, knowing that I will never again go RVing with him. I will never hold that wrinkled hand as we sit around Thanksgiving dinner, bickering about which prayer to pray and whether cranberry salsa or cranberry jam is better. I will never again watch Nascar with him, or hear his deep chuckle, or listen to him lecture me about school. And what’s worse, I never got to say good-bye.

 

I have so many regrets from the past few days, let alone the last few years. There are so many things I should have told him, so many times I should have told him I loved him. There were so many times I should have taken M to visit, should have had our family spend more time with them. He’s the only grandfather I’ve ever really known, and I wasted my time.

 

If you have grandparents out there, send them a note. Write them a memory you love. Tell them how you feel. Send them a picture. Ask them a question. But do not waste this time. I didn’t realize just how close I was to losing him. He’s always been so strong, so determined to live. Don’t make my mistake. Don’t let someone you love slip away.

 

I don’t know what else to say, honestly. I’m still not sure I believe it. So, for now, this is is. I love you, Granddad. I’ll see you in heaven.

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About S. G. Ricketts

I am a dreamer. This page holds all of the dreams and desires and hopes and wishes of the first of my two dreams: to share my imagination with the world. For those of you who have read a book or written a book, these stories are not merely words on a page. They are living, breathing creatures, worlds so compellingly real that you can smell the sweat and feel the rain. This is what I want to share ...with all of you. Yes, becoming rich and famous would be fabulous. I won't deny that. However, it would be so much more satisfying to see my book in the hands of someone on the bus, hear my book talked about at a restaurant, see a cluster of fan-art. I want to inspire the mind to imagine different worlds and different situations. If I can achieve that, I will have achieved my dream.

Posted on April 7, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Stevie, this was wonderful to read. I so agree with you. And I am sure he heard, and is smiling down on you. Bless you, dear.

  2. Cheryl Casper

    see my email. I am here for you and your fam..don’t turn inward. Ask God to help and He will.

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